Jenny, Your message at the end of the podcast was so beautiful and hope filled. It’s a message that I had come to myself as a devout believer and zealous lover of the Lords TRUE and living church for 44 years.
As fate would have it, It was the mouthpiece of God on earth, Pres. Russell M Nelson’s light hearted dismissal and mockery of “Love” that broke my proverbial shelves, lights out.
Funny enough the irony continues, I also read Tara Westover’s Book ‘Educated’ that same spring 2019. I felt seen, heard, felt and understood by Tara, it felt like my own story minus the abuse, homeschooling, homeopathic meds, extreme prepping and essential oils. So what did I relate to? It was the intense and consistent through line of religious extremism, control, authoritarian power structure, exact obedience, fear, passive aggression, conform or all is lost messaging that the book made so starkly clear in ways that stuck with me. It was as if a curtain had been pulled back exposing the strings that had constructed and animated my life… and it’s never been the same.
It’s hard to imagine anyone telling their parents that they remind them of the Westover’s. 😖 That had to be such a gnarly punch to the gut, albeit a year or two delayed. It may have been the ADHD talking when I responded out loud to your having waited for any amount of time much less a year to access and explore what your child was likely (by stating so bluntly) trying to communicate to you. That was a powerful charged statement, one a person does not say unintentionally.
I have found that it’s in the viewing and witnessing of the “others” experience, religiosity and culture that allows me to more clearly see my own. It’s much like looking through a telescope at something “other” from a distance allowing curiosity and clarity and finding overtime that the telescope is actually a mirror that’s allowed you to recognize and observe things about your own reality that you would otherwise have been blind to. I hope that makes sense. Unlike you, I’m not a writer. Im finding this extremely difficult (I’m an hour and a half in at this point constructing this comment. 😮💨)
It sounds like you and your husband are at a good place and I’m so glad to hear that. I worry about my own mother’s heart…
I’m curious if you’ve had the chance to sat down with the kiddo that made the comment about you reminding them of the Westover parents. I have definitely projecting my own feelings and experience on your child’s here and I could well be wrong and all the things you listed having done while raising them were similar to the Westover’s and it wasn’t the religious parts. 🤷♀️ Either way I hope you can make space to sit, listen to understand vs. defend or correct but hear the darker parts of your child’s story because it heals. Hearing, feeling, mourning with, is loving. ❤️🥰 Thank you for sharing.
Jenny, Your message at the end of the podcast was so beautiful and hope filled. It’s a message that I had come to myself as a devout believer and zealous lover of the Lords TRUE and living church for 44 years.
As fate would have it, It was the mouthpiece of God on earth, Pres. Russell M Nelson’s light hearted dismissal and mockery of “Love” that broke my proverbial shelves, lights out.
Funny enough the irony continues, I also read Tara Westover’s Book ‘Educated’ that same spring 2019. I felt seen, heard, felt and understood by Tara, it felt like my own story minus the abuse, homeschooling, homeopathic meds, extreme prepping and essential oils. So what did I relate to? It was the intense and consistent through line of religious extremism, control, authoritarian power structure, exact obedience, fear, passive aggression, conform or all is lost messaging that the book made so starkly clear in ways that stuck with me. It was as if a curtain had been pulled back exposing the strings that had constructed and animated my life… and it’s never been the same.
It’s hard to imagine anyone telling their parents that they remind them of the Westover’s. 😖 That had to be such a gnarly punch to the gut, albeit a year or two delayed. It may have been the ADHD talking when I responded out loud to your having waited for any amount of time much less a year to access and explore what your child was likely (by stating so bluntly) trying to communicate to you. That was a powerful charged statement, one a person does not say unintentionally.
I have found that it’s in the viewing and witnessing of the “others” experience, religiosity and culture that allows me to more clearly see my own. It’s much like looking through a telescope at something “other” from a distance allowing curiosity and clarity and finding overtime that the telescope is actually a mirror that’s allowed you to recognize and observe things about your own reality that you would otherwise have been blind to. I hope that makes sense. Unlike you, I’m not a writer. Im finding this extremely difficult (I’m an hour and a half in at this point constructing this comment. 😮💨)
It sounds like you and your husband are at a good place and I’m so glad to hear that. I worry about my own mother’s heart…
I’m curious if you’ve had the chance to sat down with the kiddo that made the comment about you reminding them of the Westover parents. I have definitely projecting my own feelings and experience on your child’s here and I could well be wrong and all the things you listed having done while raising them were similar to the Westover’s and it wasn’t the religious parts. 🤷♀️ Either way I hope you can make space to sit, listen to understand vs. defend or correct but hear the darker parts of your child’s story because it heals. Hearing, feeling, mourning with, is loving. ❤️🥰 Thank you for sharing.